Working with Difficult People Who Are Interrupters
Working with difficult people can be a very bad experience for you. How do you go about dealing with difficult people in the workplace? Here’s a very important question sent in by one of our subscribers, Maria. Here’s her question…
A QUESTION ON DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AT WORK
In other material you have written about a variety of ways to remain calm and composed when handling difficult people. You talked about the idea of walking away from a difficult person who is communicating with you but you are becoming increasingly stressed and frustrated by them. Walking away as you suggested to calm down and reduce your stress. But in dealing with difficult people at work there is a person that every time I talk to this person I feel so angry and upset as they always interrupt me. I absolutely want to walk away as they make me so mad and agitated. But if I walk each time I try to speak with them then I’d probably never come back and speak to them. Can you suggest more ways for me on how to deal with difficult people like this person? What do I do about this distressing situation?
CALMING DOWN BY WALKING OFF IN WORKING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
An excellent question Maria. So here’s another suggestion in dealing with difficult people at work such as this person. Do not shout at them. You have to be committed to trying at all times to be calm. You also need to walk off and find the space you need when you are losing your cool. Again remember, walking off into the next room or quickly around the block, is for you and not the other person. It is for you to calm down enough to go back and communicate again with this person. If you don’t use this time out, you’ll see it is increasingly hard to be calm and deal effectively with difficult people.
EXPLAINING WHY TO A VERY RUDE PERSON SO THEY UNDERSTAND
However, instead of just turning around and walking away from this person when you feel your stress levels rising. Add this stress management and assertive communication strategy when using this walking away technique. Before you walk away for awhile you need to actually tell this frustrating person why you are walking away. Be sure to sound calm and use assertive communication in handling difficult people like this.
SAY THIS AS YOU WALK AWAY FROM THEM
Extremely calmly explain the reason why you are walking off. For example, you can “Ann, I feel extremely angry when you speak to me in this way. I am going to walk away from you now and when I return I would prefer that when I speak, you do not interrupt me and wait until I have finished speaking before speaking yourself”.
REPEAT BUT DO NOT EXPECT IMMEDIATE CHANGE
When you explain why you are walking away then it becomes very clear to this person how their behavior is upsetting you. You have explained this to them in a calm manner and have walked away to give you some space to settle down your emotions again. But do not expect this person to immediately change their behavior. This behavior is a communication pattern they have done so often for a long time. In dealing with difficult people at work like this person, you do have to be consistent and persistent. Be prepared to explain why and walk away often. In fact, be prepared to do this as often as needed until this person starts to change their communication pattern with you.
TELL THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So Maria, each time this person interrupts you when you are speaking to them, tell them again why you are feeling angry. Tell them again why you are walking away. Tell them again the behavior you would like to see from them when you return. Tell them clearly, concisely and calmly. Keep on telling them and being prepared to walk away until this person stops interrupting you whenever they speak with you.
THE MESSAGE WILL EVENTUALLY GET HEARD
In the end, this rude person will understand your message and have to make a decision about whether they alter their behavior or not. They will now know that if they want to talk to you, they’ll have to stop interrupting you when you speak. If they do not then you will continue to walk away again and again.
TEST THIS HANDLING DIFFICULT PEOPLE STRATEGY
So test this dealing with difficult people strategy and see how it can work for you. Always be firm and clear. This strategy will reduce your stress and you will be calmer and also much more assertive in dealing with difficult people at work.
Now there are many more ideas I would like to share with in my FREE quick read Guide on Dealing with Difficult People. I invite you to download it now by signing up to your right.
© Dr Judy Esmond. This article may be shared with others on the understanding that it remains intact and credit is given to the author and the website link http://www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.com