Working with difficult people is often emotional dynamite and emotionally draining in your life. One of our readers, Patricia (name altered) wanted to know the answer to the following question. She is certainly not alone in wanting to find an answer.
HERE IS THE QUESTION FROM PATRICIA TO THINK ABOUT
How can I learn to become emotionally detached or unemotional when trying to deal with and communicate directly with a difficult person? Great question Patricia! And in giving you an answer we are going to talk about two important steps. But we are going to start with step one now and then step two in our next blog post.
TYPES OF DIFFICULT PEOPLE THAT COME INTO YOUR LIFE
But first here is a question for you. Have you ever had to live with or work with a difficult person or difficult people in your own life? For example, these people who you would describe and use words such as the following:
> Rude people
> Irate people
> Angry people
> Hostile people
> Bully people
> Annoying people
> Controlling people
> Stressful people
> Negative people
> Demanding people
> Aggressive people
If your answer was yes to dealing with people like this group above then the truth is that your emotions are absolutely going to be involved.
YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY AFFECTED WHEN YOU DEAL WITH PEOPLE
Sorry to tell you this but in dealing with people in your life, you are going to be affected emotionally. After all, the reasons why you find these people and their behavior very difficult is because when you are in contact with and interact with these people, they do upset you, they do get under your skin. There is no doubt that they stir up your emotions and feelings. Otherwise you would not be bothered by them and be totally unaffected by the way they behave.
IMPASSIVE, UNRESPONSIVE AND DETACHED IT IS NOT YOU
So when you deal with people you find difficult, your emotions will be involved. How could you possibly remain unmoved, impassive and unemotional when dealing with difficult people? You just can’t and you have to take step one and change your thinking about you and your feelings.
THIS STEP IS TO ACCEPT THE EMOTION AND STOP BEING A ROBOT
In step one it is time to agree that you are not an unfeeling robot and you do have emotions and emotional reactions to other people, especially difficult people. Accept that you are human. Respect yourself and accept that in dealing with a difficult life partner, difficult customer, difficult co-worker and other difficult people personalities that it absolutely does involve your emotions. And guess what! That is okay. You are allowed to feel stress, worry, frustration, exasperation and more when you deal face-to-face with these people.
TIME FOR EMOTIONAL ACCEPTANCE
So let’s stop trying to pretend that these difficult people do not upset you, distress you and affect you emotionally. Just acknowledge that in handling difficult people in your life, your emotions are involved and are part of who you are. Once you understand and accept your emotional responses in dealing with difficult people, you can move on to considering techniques for you to have power over those emotions. In the next post we will look at step two and a simple but very effective way to start having this emotional power when directly dealing with difficult people in your life. Stay tuned!
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