Difficult People! You Need to Learn to Respond not React
Dealing with difficult people can mean dealing with people you have just met for the first time. Or it can mean dealing with people or a person who you have known for a longer period of time.
DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND THE FOUR Ts
In either situation you can often find these people to be demanding, impolite, aggressive and argumentative. These people can be often classified as the FOUR Ts – that is, tiresome, tough, troublesome and just plain trying.
But whether you have met these people or person for the first time or have an ongoing interaction with such rude, demanding and often very frustrating people there is one important method you must use in dealing with such difficult people. So keep on reading as this is vital to your success in dealing with anyone, not just difficult people.
RESPONDING NOT REACTING TO DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND THEIR BEHAVIOR
Whenever you are addressing the behavior of difficult people that can be tough and very troublesome, it is critical that you always aspire to respond instead of reacting to their behavior. In terms of our interactions with other people we are either responding or reacting during these troublesome and very difficult interactions. Then what is the difference between responding and reacting?
GREAT POWER IN RESPONDING TO PEOPLE
In simplistic terms, a response is a deliberately thought out action in managing the difficult behavior by another person or people. A response is about taking your time and ascertaining carefully how you’ll go forward in dealing with difficult people and their behavior. When you respond you stay in control of your own behavior. A response also is about change and calling for other people to make changes in their own rigid, impolite and fussy behavior.
THE DANGER OF REACTING TO DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND THEIR BEHAVIOR
On the other hand, a reaction is knee-jerk and is deficient in thought, clean-cut decision-making. It frequently involves doing or saying something that you afterwards regret. It is not about influencing the behavior of others to make changes. How can you work on responding to difficult and demanding behavior rather than just reacting to those difficult people ?
TECHNIQUE FOR DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Amongst many methods to assist you, here is one technique that will get you moving in the right direction to responding more and reacting less in dealing with difficult people.
Here is what you do. Whenever someone demonstrates behavior that you find difficult then PAUSE, BREATHE, THINK AND THEN SPEAK.
You have heard the old saying ‘count to ten’. This saying is actually an example of responding instead of reacting. When you force yourself to count slowly to ten by pausing, breathing, thinking and then speaking you are gaining control over your emotions. You’re well on your way to greater control in developing your skills in responding not reacting to the difficult person and their difficult behavior.
DEALING WITH PEOPLE AND THEIR RESPONSES
So whenever you practice to respond rather than simply react when faced with the difficult behavior of other people, all sorts of people become a more manageable process for you. These boorish, fastidious, fractious, fussy, hard to please, rude, unobliging, angry and tedious people no longer control your reactions, you decide your responses to them. Be determined to PAUSE, BREATHE, THINK all before you SPEAK to those difficult people who come across in your life.
Now there are many more ideas I would like to share with in my FREE quick read Guide on Dealing with Difficult People. I invite you to download it from my website right now by signing up to the right.
© Dr Judy Esmond. This article may be shared with others on the understanding that it remains intact and credit is given to the author and the website link is included http://www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.com