Friday, September 22, 2017

Difficult People and Ideas for Talking in Dealing with Difficult People in Your Life

by DrJudy on

Difficult people are not always easy to talk to. In dealing with difficult people this is an often asked question. “But how do I talk to difficult people?”. How do you talk to people you find irritating, obstinate, frustrating, bewildering, vexing – when you just want to run the other way?

In a previous dealing with difficult people blog post I mentioned a very useful article on Dealing with Difficult People by Sarah Felix that considers some good tips on keeping you sane when dealing with people, especially those you find difficult. You can read the full article for yourself but I wanted to highlight 5 tips on actually talking to people you find difficult, so let’s find out more.

QUICK IDEAS ON TALKING TO DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN THE FUTURE

Here are the 5 quick ideas in dealing with people and talking to them adapted from the article:

1. Start the conversation with sincerity — make sure it is sincere. Explain the reason for your talk to them is that you care about improving the relationship, not destroying it.

2. Talk about the behavior, not person. This is the hardest part in coping with difficult people and talking to them. Separating and focusing on their behavior, not them as a person.

3. Get specific. Don’t use vague examples such as “you’re behavior is very frustrating”. Be clear and specific, “Yesterday you agree to complete a task by this morning and it was not completed. Can you explain why you were unable to finish the task and how we can overcome this in the future?” (This is a very important communication strategy when dealing with difficult people who are Overextenders that we discussed in previous blog posts).

4. Be crystal clear. Get very clear on what and how you would like to see things change. Too often in dealing with people we complain about their behavior but give them no clue about how we would like it to change in the future.

5. Ask for feedback. Get feedback immediately on what you have just communicated to that person. “What do you feel about what I’ve explained?” Or, “What do you think about my concerns?”

MORE IDEAS WHEN DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AT WORK OR IN YOUR PERSONAL LIFE

Dealing with people and communicating with people you find particularly arduous is never easy. These 5 tips are a good start and in future blog posts we’ll add more ideas on talking to difficult people in your life. If you can’t wait, then you can get more ideas and advanced strategies in our DEALING WITH PEOPLE PACKAGES right now.

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