Friday, September 22, 2017

Difficult People and Changing Your Habits

by DrJudy on

Difficult people have ways of communicating with you that are often very negative, cause you great distress and are extremely hard to cope with. The way you respond in dealing with difficult people forms some of your communication habits and patterns with them.

So here is an important concept for you to consider in communicating with difficult people.

THE POWER OF HABITS IN YOUR COMMUNICATION

Your communication with other individuals is actually a series of communication patterns or more simply, a series of communication habits. Whenever you want to change your communication with another person, then you have to change your communication habits with them. You have to jump over some hurdles to achieve this.

The longer you have known or dealt with an individual, or the closer your relationship to that person, then the more ingrained these communication habits become. This means that the way you communicate with these people who you find difficult are most often a series of very fixed communication habits.

Changing your communication habits in dealing with difficult people can be extremely hard.

HOW LONG TO CHANGE A HABIT

Yet although very hard to alter, habits can be changed. But it is not easy and takes effort and work. But here is the important question – how long does it take to change a habit?

Some of the most recent research suggests that if you practice a new habit each day for 30 days, then this habit will start to take the place of your old habit. Your mind will move from following the old habit to concentrating more on the new habit that you have been practising throughout this time.

YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE YOUR NEW HABITS

So in order to change your traditional communication habits with a difficult person, then you have to practice your different way of communicating and speaking with this person. Not once, not twice but on an ongoing basis.

DO NOT EXPECT IMMEDIATE CHANGE FROM DIFFICULT PEOPLE

However, it is important to realise that just because you have changed your communication habits with a difficult person this does not mean that they will change automatically. They are also stuck in their own communication pattern and habits. Just as it takes you time to change the way you are communicating, this is the same for them.

KEEP WORKING ON DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

So you need to consistently work on reinforcing your new communication habits and patterns with this other person. Eventually if you stick to communicating in an alternative way and not fall back into old communication patterns, then that person will have to alter the way they respond and communicate with you.

This means that as you practice your new communication habits, this will progressively influence how they communicate with you in the future and improve your own ability in dealing with difficult people.

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