Dealing with Difficult People and the Stress of All or Nothing Thinking
In dealing with difficult people and also yourself as a difficult individual, your own mind has always been a compelling combination. The psychological part in your difficult people experiences can add up to your impressions of stress, pressure, anxiousness, burden and trepidation.
THE POWER OF THOUGHT IN DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
So efficient is the force of your mind that it shapes your mental attitude, psyche, reasoning, perceptive and opinions about yourself and others. Consequently, in dealing with any difficult people in your life and developing good stress management strategies you also want to understand and cultivate your own mind. So let’s that the plunge and find out more.
In this article we will explore one facet of your thinking that is assured to increase your stress and vexation. On the other hand, working through this type of thinking can help you manage your stress and provide answers too.
WHAT IS NEGATIVE ALL OR NOTHING MIND TALK
Your mind talk or self-talk is what you tell yourself in your own brain about a situation you’re experiencing. One of the negative forms of self-talk is that called ‘all or nothing thinking’. Once you apply all or nothing thinking, you conceive everything in black-and-white terms and there’s no in-between positions in your mind.
STRESSFUL THINKNG ON VERY HARD SITUATIONS
For instance, with this all or nothing thinking, frequently when you make a error it becomes all all-embracing and most frequently much greater than it really is. Once you deal with difficult people or you’re a difficult person yourself, this type of reasoning doesn’t help you. Can you associate with any of the three scenario examples of all or nothing thinking?
SCENARIO 1 – THE WORST WIFE ON EARTH
In this scenario, it is your ninth wedding anninversary. You get distressed and shout at your husband because he’s forgotten your wedding aninversary. You then feel guilty and determine that you are the worst wife on the earth.
SCENARIO 2 – THE HORRIBLE PARENT
Your teenage daughter and son have been fighting over who will wash the dishes. Having had enough you state both teenagers are lazy, inconsiderate and do not deserve to be living under your roof. Afterwards you feel atrocious as these were the same kinda words your own mother would say to you. You promised yourself that you would never use these words with your children. You right away decide that you’re a horrendous parent and have failed miserably in your parental role.
SCENARIO 3 – THE UNFIT MANAGER
As the manager in your workplace you’re perpetually being disturbed by employees calling for advice on what to do. You find it hard to concentrate and to really get any of your own work finished. At the close of another interruption full day, one last employee enters with a question. You crack and within the hearing of all other employees, you tell them to get out and to do not return and annoy you again. You afterwards regret your blowup and determine that you’re a unfit manager and none of your employees will ever like or respect you ever again.
YOU AS THAT DIFFICULT PERSON
Are any of these scenarios familiar? All are scenarios of all or nothing thinking. Now this all or nothing thinking exactly casts you under a lot of stress and pressure. Sometimes you make a mistake, occasionally you have a bad day and occasionally you lose your temper. But this one and only action doesn’t make you the worst wife on earth, a horrible parent or an unfit manager. What it does make you is a HUMAN BEING.
DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE THAT IS YOU
When your self-talk is all or nothing thinking, then you’re seeing your actions and your world in a really nerve-racking way. In order to modify this stressful negative self-talk, begin with these steps:
1. Realize that you are human
2. Understand that we all make mistakes
3. Forgive yourself if this isn’t your constant behavior pattern
4. Don’t concentrate on the actions that have gone
5. Focus on how you’ll change and alter your behavior next time
6. Focus on responding differently in the future difficult situation
7. Choose today to relinquish now that stressful all or nothing thinking.
Life is far too short to pass your time and your energy in negative self-talk and all or nothing thinking. So use the steps above and allow it go right away.
WANT EVEN MORE ADVANCED IDEAS?
Now to assist you with more advanced ideas on dealing with a difficult person or difficult people in your life get your own DIFFICULT PEOPLE PACKAGES.
© Dr Judy Esmond. This article may be shared with others on the understanding that it remains intact and credit is given to the author and the website link http://www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.com is included with this article on dealing with difficult people.