Dealing with difficult people and coping with difficult people in the family system can be even harder when they cut off all communication. Let’s add some more thoughts for you following on from our previous dealing with difficult people post.
COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE WHO ARE FAMILY MEMBERS
Remember that Susan’s family member had stopped communicating with her when she started to change her role in the family system. I explained that dealing with difficult people who are family members is often much more complex than dealing with difficult people at work.
THE SUGGESTION LAST TIME
Firstly, we suggested to Susan and to you if you are dealing with difficult people in the family system, that ultimately other family members have to be responsible for their own behavior.
If they decide to no longer communicate with you, then that is their decision and their decision alone. You cannot actually make them speak to you.
DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AT WORK OR HOME STRATEGY
Secondly, here is another idea and strategy for you to try with such family members. You may also consider this idea in working with difficult people. If this person has cut off all communication, then it might be time to send them a letter. Yes that’s right – a handwritten letter. Not an email, not a text message but an old fashioned handwritten letter. Why send the written word in this form? Because it is as personal as you can get without actually speaking face to face with this person. It is in your own handwriting.
THE LETTER IN COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
But let’s get clear about the purpose of this letter. The purpose is not to abuse, demand or insult the other person. This will get you nowhere. The real purpose of the letter is an attempt to re-open the positive communication channels between you and the difficult person. Therefore, you must truly write this letter with this as your aim. This means insulting, angry and hateful words will simply not appear in your letter.
WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO SAY WITH WORDS
Therefore, in coping with difficult people in the family system who will not communicate – your letter must be clear. It must be clear about how important they are to you and how you really would like to be able to talk to them again. Although you and they have changed, their relationship with you is important and you would like to see how you can both come together and communicate again. You can use your own words but this is the purpose of your letter to this person. No matter how angry, hurt and upset you feel – remember your goal with this letter – the chance to start talking again.
WILL THIS LETTER WORK IN DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE?
So will this letter work to establish further communication with this person? Who really knows? You cannot necessarily predict the result as there are so many emotional factors involved. But here is a fact. If you write a letter of hate and anger the communication channels may open but only for return hate and anger. If you write a letter of reconciliation then the chances of re-opening the positive communication channels are one step closer. What are your thoughts? Click on ‘comments’ below and add your thoughts.
MORE IDEAS ON DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE FOR YOU
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