Difficult people like the Negative Norms we’ve discussed in previous dealing with difficult people posts mean that you need to start with the following strategy when dealing with difficult people that are so negative.
DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE WHO ARE NEGATIVE – MUST DO STRATEGY
Give them feedback. Yes! That is right. You have to give them feedback so they know. Many times these very negative people have no idea that they are being negative at all. They often feel like they are just giving cautious and solid advice. They have no idea that they are difficult people. They are unaware that their constant negativity is frustrating, annoying, draining and demoralizing for others around them. They just do not see their negativity at all.
DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE CARDS – IF YOU DON’T SAY THEY DON’T KNOW
Too often in dealing with people and particularly those we find difficult, we assume they know how objectionable their behavior is to us. Many times they do not have a clue and no-one tells them. No-one gives the difficult person feedback on their behavior. For Negative Norms the only feedback they often receive is the passing comment “Oh you’re always being negative”. This is not feedback! It is a passing statement which does not help you or the difficult person.
CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK IN COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
You have to provide constructive feedback in dealing with people. You have to calmly and in private, sit them down and explain that their use of negative language and words is affecting you and others around them. It is critical that you explain to the Negative Norms just what emotional affect negative language is having.
FOCUS ON THE LANGUAGE NOT THE DIFFICULT PERSON
Focus on the negative language, rather than on the person. Explain how this negative language makes you feel. Explain how this negative language make others feel, in the work setting or at home. Explain what affect the frequency of these negative words really have.
DIFFICULT PEOPLE FEEDBACK – THE PLACE TO START
Always aim to provide constructive feedback first in dealing with difficult people who are extremely negative. This is certainly the initial and most important step. In the next post we’ll consider another strategy for you to use to help Negative Norms to begin to change their negative words to more positive language.
OTHERS WHO HANDLING DIFFICULT PEOPLE
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