Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Dealing with Difficult People and Walking Away When You Need to Do This

by DrJudy on

In dealing with difficult people articles we’re often discussing dealing with difficult people at work or home. In response to these articles and blog posts, we were sent an email from a reader from a previous blog post. The email question from Maria and was this…

A QUESTION ON HANDLING DIFFICULT PEOPLE

“In the previous post you talked about a lot of ways of remaining calm when dealing with difficult people. You suggested that if a person is making you feel frustrated and upset, walk away until you calm down. But in dealing with difficult people at work there is a person that when I talk to them I feel so angry as they always interrupt me. I just want to walk away, they make me so mad. But if I walk each time I’d probably never speak to them. What are your thoughts about this and what to do?”

STILL DECIDING TO WALK AWAY WHEN NEEDED

Great question Maria. Here’s another suggestion for you in dealing with difficult people at work such as this particular work colleague. You definitely need to walk away and find some space from this person if they are making you feel angry and uptight each time you speak with them. If you do not take some time out, you will find it very hard to remain calm and effectively deal with this difficult person.

TELL THEM WHY YOU ARE DOING THIS

However, rather than just turning around and walking away from this person. Add this to your walking away technique. Actually tell them why you are walking away. Make sure you sound calm and use assertive communication in handling this difficult person.

WORDS TO USE WHEN COMMUNICATING WITH THEM

Explain very calmly and clearly why you are walking away. For example, you could say: “Helen, I feel very angry when you speak to me in that way. I am going to walk away from you now and when I return I would prefer that when I speak, you do not interrupt me and wait until I have finished speaking before speaking yourself.

COMMUNICATE, REPEAT WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

By explaining why you are walking away, it becomes very clear to this frustrating person why you are doing so. It is also important in dealing with difficult people that you are consistent and use lots of repetition. If you want them to change their communication pattern with you, it will take a lot of repetition to remind them what behavior needs to be changed. No matter how stubborn, irritating and obnoxious the person is, you need to remain determined and clear in your communication.

TELL ME AGAIN WHY I AM DEMANDING

So Maria, each time this person interrupts you when you are speaking to them, tell them again why you are feeling angry. Tell them again why you are walking away. Tell them again the behavior you would like to see from them when you return. Tell them clearly, concisely and calmly.

THE MESSAGE WILL GET THROUGH IN COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Maria, this rude person will ultimately get the message and have to alter their behavior in some way. They will certainly get the message, that if they need to communicate with you they will have to stop interrupting you. Otherwise you will simply walk away and come back later to try to communicate again. Give this technique a chance to work in dealing with difficult people at work and in your personal life. Be firm, be fair but be persistent.

YOUR THOUGHTS ON DEALING WITH PEOPLE

So what are your thoughts on dealing with these demanding, aggravating and difficult people. Do you need further assistance on dealing with difficult people? Then it is time to try our DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE PACKAGES right now.

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