Friday, September 22, 2017

Dealing with Difficult People and Very Powerful Words on Difficult People

by DrJudy on

Dealing with Difficult People isn’t easy and we’ve more thoughts from Katherine on dealing with difficult people in your life.

COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY SYSTEM

Do make sure to consider using our range of Dealing with People Services. Now after the previous posts about how to deal with difficult people in the family system. These thoughts were sent in by Katherine.

As they were included in a previous post you might have missed them so I wanted to make sure you had a chance to see what Katherine had to say…

WISE WORDS FROM KATHERINE

I have found controlling, co-dependent people a real big challenge. Having grown up in this environment and deciding to make changes over a number of years in myself (as these changes do not come easy) the task has been extremely difficult. Especially with family members and partners .. .

COMMENT FROM DR JUDY ON WHAT KATERINE SAID

Katherine is especially right about how hard it can be with those closer to you such as family members and partners. As compared to dealing with difficult people at work. Why? Because these people know all the right buttons to push for you, since they often know you better than acquaintances and work colleagues.

GO ON KATHERINE WE’RE ALL LISTENING

This year the red flags were so strong I became quite anxious when I didn’t listen to my warning bells. I am now having to learn to tell people exactly how their actions affect me and what I am willing to put up with and am not. It is the most difficult thing I have had to do ever.

COMMENT FROM DR JUDY

What Katherine is doing is establishing what I often call, her ’stress boundaries’. These boundaries are very important to looking after you and reducing your stress. It is very challenging to do, especially if others are not used to you saying assertively what you will or will not do for them.

MORE THOUGHTS FROM KATHERINE

No more distancing behaviors, angry outbursts. I have to be clear and non-judgmental and then let the other person try to change. I have lost a partner and a couple of friends…but those who have listened and thanked me for advising – our relationships have become stronger. I feel more empowered…but I still have bouts of insomnia and anxiety after doing this. I hope it will diminish as I become accustomed to asking for my needs to be met.

YOU GO KATHERINE – THAT IS GREAT STUFF

The clearer you become about your boundaries and your needs then the more empowered you become. There are some people who will never adapt to you speaking up and looking after you. Although, I don’t know the details of the situations you have described, your commitment to yourself now is wonderful. You go for it and you’ll gain more confidence as you go.

WHAT ABOUT YOU IN COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE?

Any thoughts you would like to share on dealing with difficult people? Do you need more advanced ideas on dealing with difficult people, especially those very frustrating people at work and in your personal life? Then do make sure to check out our great DEALING WITH PEOPLE packages right now. We also provide other customized services for you on dealing with people.

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