When you are dealing with difficult people it often means working out how to deal with the stress they produce. Such difficult people can be very distressing, frustrating and exhausting. How they behave and react is very stressful for you. So what can you do in dealing with difficult people that are causing you great stress?
DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND UNDERSTANDING
There are many methods to we explore in our Dealing with Difficult People workshops. But there’s one powerful method that is rarely used by it very effective. So let’s look more closely at this method.
It’s vital to know that when you understand about something, when you know the reasons for something your stress is reduced enormously.
There are many methods to we explore in our Dealing with Difficult People workshops.
But there’s one powerful method that is rarely used by it very effective. For example, take any piece of electrical equipment, if you do not understand how to use it, it can be very stressful.
If you learn enough to understand how to use it then the equipment becomes far less stressful to you. It is becomes more understandable.
COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND NOT STRESSING
Obviously individuals are more complicated than a piece of equipment, but this applies with difficult people and reducing your stress. Greater understanding can reduce your stress and open up possibilities to deal with the stressful situation.
THE AIM IN UNDERSTANDING A DIFFICULT PERSON
So whenever you are dealing with difficult people always try to use this powerful technique. Try first to gain some understanding of that person and why they are behaving in that way, before trying to be understood. Try and see it from the other side, try to step into their shoes if you possibly can and aim first to understand them before expecting them to understand you. If you can gain an understanding of why a person is acting a certain way, then you now have more power and control over how you respond, react and deal with that difficult person.
IT IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU AT ALL
Often it can really have little to do with you. Their responses often relate to other experiences in their life that are now being associated with you. This is a process often known as displacement. This is where the person displaces their feelings and reactions from other situations and other people on to you. When you are able to find out and understand from the other person the reasons for the way they are behaving that way then your own stress reactions and responses change. You now have some insight that can direct how you respond to them in the future.
A WORD TO THE WISE ABOUT HANDLING DIFFICULT PEOPLE
But a word to the wise about trying to understand other people. Sometimes it is not easy or possible to get underneath the surface to understand the reasons why someone behaves in a certain way. People are complex and their reasons are often buried far below the surface. Sometimes you have to accept that this understanding may remain hidden not only from you but also sometimes from them.
YOUR GOAL IN DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
But always start with this technique in mind and make it one of your goals in how to deal with difficult people to always try first to understand before being understood.
Now there are many more ideas I would like to share with in my FREE quick read book on Dealing with Difficult People: 17 Ideas on Dealing with Difficult People.