When you are dealing with difficult people this means that you have to attempt to communicate with and talk to these people.
DIFFICULT PEOPLE BEYOND WORDS
When working with difficult people you need to focus on powerful communication techniques. Most people react only to the words being used. Such words are very emotional. When you focus only on the words, you’re emotions can take over and you have an emotional reaction with feelings of stress, anxiety, frustration, anger and more. You must become sensitive to both the nonverbal and verbal language that is part of dealing with people.
POWERFUL ADVICE FOR YOU IN DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
The most powerful piece of advice for you in communicating is to listen both with your ears and with your eyes. How do you do this? Here are two communication strategies for you to use.
LISTENING BEYOND THE WORDS TO THE TONE OF VOICE
Strategy 1. You need to listen not only to the words that someone uses but also to the tone of their voice. Have you ever heard someone say that they weren’t bothered by something you did, but the tone of their voice sounded angry and frustrated? In reality, they were very, very upset. Even though their words said one thing, the tone of their voice told you another thing altogether. So listen intently to the tone of voice.
LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES NOT JUST YOUR EARS
Strategy 2. What does it mean to listen with your eyes? It means to focus on the body language in dealing with difficult people. You need to watch with your eyes the body language of the other person. This can involve over 85% of total communication. Have you noted that the body language someone shows and the words they use can be very different? Again, the words the person they say is that they aren’t bothered by what you did, but their body language shows clenched fists, clenched teeth and more. When you listen with your eyes and focus on the body language you will learn so much more about what that person really means when they are communicating.
PUTTING IT TOGETHER TO GET THE WHOLE PICTURE NOW
When you pay attention to both the verbal and non-verbal communication you will be way ahead of everyone else who barely takes notice of what is being said. Few people put it together to get the whole picture in communicating with another person. Having the ability to do this is even more important in coping with difficult people. Why?
TESTING YOUR SKILLS IN COMMUNICATING WITH OTHERS
Because in dealing with difficult people at work or home they really do upset you. They get your emotions going. The greater your emotional state then the less likely you are to be able to pay attention, especially to the non-verbal language from the other person. With these very difficult people, if you are able to focus on reading their non-verbals and listening to their tone of voice not just their words, then you are in greater control.
REMAINING AS CALM AND DETACHED AS POSSIBLE THROUGHOUT
But you do need to remain as calm and as emotionally detached as you can. The more emotional you become the less able you are to pick up real communication that is happening beyond just the words. So be determined to remain cool, calm and on task with the communication process.
CONTROL AND DEALING WITH PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE
You are then actually more in control of your emotions, not the difficult person. Because your focus has gone beyond the angry and insulting words that person is saying to other aspects of their communication
DEVELOPING YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS FURTHER
At every opportunity in dealing with people, but particularly with a difficult person aim to sharpen your communication skills. Go well past just the words and hear the tone of voice and focus on the body language you are also seeing. Your concentration revolves around the communication and not only the person. You will discover more about what they really mean. You’ll have much greater control over your emotional and all future communication in dealing with difficult people.
YOUR FREE GUIDE AVAILABLE NOW FOR YOU
So what are your thoughts on dealing with these difficult people? We have lots more great ideas to share. As a leading international expert in the field of dealing with people, Dr Judy Esmond invites you to get a free copy of her quick read Guide on Dealing with Difficult People by signing up now.
© Dr Judy Esmond. This article may be shared with others on the understanding that it remains intact and credit is given to the author and the website link http://www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.com
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